“In a way I can relate to this post, and I feel I can relate to many of them although sometimes in a completely different way!
I grew up in a family of 5; Mom Dad Older Brother and Younger brother. Looking back on my life, my family was perfectly imperfect.
Growing up I always had my mom around. She was a stay at home Mom until I was in about 4th grade. She was around for all of my activities (girl scouts, cheerleading, softball, basketball...) including those for my brothers as well. We always had a nice clean house, our beds were always made, food on the table , and we always had clothes.
Growing up I always had my mom around. She was a stay at home Mom until I was in about 4th grade. She was around for all of my activities (girl scouts, cheerleading, softball, basketball...) including those for my brothers as well. We always had a nice clean house, our beds were always made, food on the table , and we always had clothes.
Despite the necessities, a lot of my friends growing up lived extravagent lifestyles, and often I felt left out.I never understood why I couldn't go the mall and get a brand new wardrobe when school started, and a new backpack every year. I often found myself angry because it took so much from my parents to get the things all my friends had. Sometimes even going to the movies was too much to ask! My friends took really awesome vacations every year. Always somewhere exotic and warm. We took a couple family vacations, but I never got to go with my friends.... and I didn't understand why. Now mind you, we weren't poor by any means. But depsite our money situation I now find my family to have been rich in love.
I didn't realize that the things I had growing up were the most important until my parents became alcoholics when us kids got into highschool. During the years that were supposed to bring me into a new chapter of my life, things at home slowly started to tear apart....”
Anonymous, First off I’m very sorry it has taken me so long to respond to your posting but I really appreciate everything you have shared with all of us. I like that you gave us all a different way of looking at things and that is to really appreciate what you have. It sounds so simple but it’s the truth-although you didn’t get to go shopping every week or go on tropical vacations with your friends you had a family that genuinely cared about each other and that is hard to find. Nobody has a perfect family by any means, but to know that your family was “rich in love” is priceless. I agree with you absolutely that the things you had growing up were the most important, because there are kids out there who don’t have any of those things (parents, a home, love etc.). I’m sorry that things turned out the way they did when you were in high school, but sometimes that’s just the way the cookie crumbles. It’s not fair at all, but at least you still have a family and people who care about you...that is much more important than any materialistic item.
Did you see any warning signs at the time, or looking back at it, that would have made you think your parents were alcoholics? Sometimes as kids we are really oblivious to the signs, and I know I definitely was with my mom’s situation for a few years. I didn’t really want to admit to myself that my mom was in fact an addict-it was much easier to lie to myself or ignore all of the signs.
Thank you very much for posting and again I’m so sorry to everyone for my absence with the blog. I’ve been in sort of a funk since getting back to CO from the east coast. Now that my semester has started, and I’m organized I promise you will hear from me more often! Please continue to share your stories and pass the blog on to anyone who you believe will benefit from it. Thanks everyone-and I hope you are all having a great New Year :)
I can really relate with this post. Growing up I felt the same way, I wasn't able to go shopping to get the latest clothes and missed out on all the "spring break" vacations to cancuun and although I tried not to let it bother me, it did. I also grew up with an alcoholic father but only found this out when my dad moved out of our house when I was in 6th grade. I knew things weren't right with my dad by the way he came home late at night and yelled at me if I was not in bed ( when in reality I was just waiting up to see him). Obviously there were a lot more signs but i was too young to realize the things going on werent normal. After he moved out I later was told that the reason my mom asked him to leave was because after only 2 meeting he refused to go back to AA because he didn't think he had a problem. In turn for a long time, even now, I resented my dad. He chose alcohol over staying as part of our family. After he moved out things became very tough. We always had food, even if it meant only a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for dinner but it became almost consistent that our electric, cable or heat was not working. It was a very hard time but I always knew that my mom was doing the best she could. My dad and I lost our connection by the time I started high school and have always had a difficult time even talking with him without fighting about something. Even though a wonderful man came into our lives I always missed having my real father involved in my life. Thankfully i had a few AMAZING friends that got me through my hardest times and without them I would have been lost. In this I would also like to include the amazing support of my bestfriend's family as a whole. I was always welcome to stay, eat their food, join on their family trips etc. They became my second family. Now that I am 23, married and living far from home my father and I have started to finally have a normal father-daughter relationship. Phone calls with him have finally become enjoyable. Part of me wonders why now he decided he wants to be an active part of my life after so long but then I think better late then never.
ReplyDeleteHey Bailie! I hope you're doing well. Well done on your blog- you go girl. :-)
ReplyDeleteI stumbled on this blog while searching the web for some sort of post to throw on my brother in laws wall. For some reason I still think he will read one and it might actually mean something to him. I do it all the time. Either that or I post pictures of his daughter when she’s crying because she misses him and she thinks he doesn’t love her. Nothing changes. He still hasn’t come back. Drugs took him from us a few years ago. He’s alive.. I think. Somewhere on the streets addicted to whatever drug he is using these days. Usually meth. My niece just turned 6. For the first 3-4 years of her life she was daddy’s world. His safest addiction. They were a family, my sister moved her whole life to Ohio to make it happen. She brought my niece back here when she realized her husband wasn’t the same anymore and the drugs had taken over. Now he doesn’t visit, he doesn’t call, he doesn’t answer the phone. My niece thinks there is something wrong with her. Why doesn’t daddy love me??? We tell her daddy is sick. I wish I knew how to take her pain away. It kills me everyday. Thankyou for your blog. At least I know there is hope for her.
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