My Amazing Friend Chris

This is a continued comment from my amazing friend Chris who means the world to me. Chris is a father to be, and I know he will be such a great daddy! Hicks things happen in life that we don't like (or want to happen), and I really truly believe it will be healthy for you to get all of these bad memories out. I know a few of your stories, but really honestly look forward to hearing more. You are such a strong person, and you have always been there for me. I'm so fortunate to have you in my life, and I'm so happy that you are posting. Thank you so much for sharing such an intense time in your life with all of us!

"I remember getting the phone calls from him and hearing my mother cry all the time. She would pretend to be strong for us, but every now and then I would catch her crying in her room or breaking down at odd times of the day. My mother loved my father and always gave him another chance, she loved him with all of her heart and stayed faithful to him. I saved alot of the letters he would right to me, and still remember the little cartoons drawn on the front of the envelopes, like Chip & Dale The Rescue Ranger or Mickey Mouse. Eventually he got out of jail and him and my mother were doing good until his friends started coming around to see him and slowly but surely he would get back into robbing houses and stores trying to feed his addiction. My mother would scream and he would yell back, (but he would never hit her, he loved her), as me and my sister would run into eachothers bedrooms and just cry and hug eachother and wish that it would all just go away. He went back to jail and we would start getting the phone calls again, but these days were different. My mother would tell him if he really loved us he would stop doing this shit and be a real man. She would tell us "your father is an asshole" and then she would calm down. We started going to visit him at different jails around the state and grew used to this life style. I would always tell her I didn't want to visit him anymore because I thought he didn't love me or else he would be home. But deep down inside I knew he did and it tore me apart growing up. I wanted to be the great Chris Hicks Sr that everybody loved and admired yet I didn't want to be anything like him at all. All the choices I made in elementry school like my first kiss, standing up to bullies and who my friends were all started with the thought, what would my father do. I always felt so alone, and singled out, no father at my school programs, no fathersday, no body to teach me how to be a man. I was lost and confused and just wanted him there to show me how to play catch and go camping and just shoot the shit. I remember he finally got out again, and again, and again and my mom would take him back and then she would kick him out. He dropped off a hundred dollar bill to me one time and I told my mother "look what dad gave me and she grabbed it and ripped it up and told me that I didn't want his drug money. Again I was left with nothing. He would rob store with my uncles and houses all around the area and bring home candy and money for the family but my mother wanted nothing to do with it. The money he got supported his habbit, the want grabbed ahold of him and it would never let him go. I have so much more to share with you Bailie and this is less then ten percent of my life with drugs. So keep me posted and I will share with you every week a new and different story. It feels good that someone actually wants to hear about my problems but it brings up alot of supressed memories that I would just like to forgive and forget, ya know. I love you and good luck with your new life over there in CO girlie.
Sincerely one of your best friends,
Christopher D. Hicks Jr"


I will post four more stories from other people just like Chris, and then I will share another one of my personal experiences. Thank you all for your support!